Rebuilding | A personal post

The soft chiming melody of my trusty Philips Light Alarm Clock gently awakens me.  The time reads 6am.  A new dawn, a new day. 

It’s time to begin my morning rituals.  Each morning I complete a combination of stretches, weights, yoga, walking and, perhaps most importantly for me, meditation.  Today my profile on the Calm app tells me I have completed 500 meditation sessions since starting meditation a little over a year ago.  I won’t lie, I’m feeling proud!  This practice of breathing and quietening the mind, has consistently centred me and helped prepare me for each new day.  I can now say with certainty, I am hooked on meditation and crave it daily. 

A few weeks ago, as I talked to a friend about changes I’ve made in my life since March 2017, I had an epiphany.  At some point during that month, I realised I was being consumed by grief; a vast avalanche of grief that followed a family tragedy two and a half years before.  There were days when I literally thought I would die of heartache.  I quietly struggled to keep my head above water.  When I finally realised I had to save myself or drown completely, I started practicing meditation, then yoga.  Every day, no matter how I felt, I would roll out of bed and start my rituals.  

My epiphany was clear.  The decision to save myself commenced a rebuilding process within me.  With a sense of awe, I realised that for the past 13 months I have been determinedly rebuilding myself daily: physically, emotionally and spiritually.  I am the proverbial phoenix rising from the ashes.  I am no longer the same person I was before tragedy struck.  Is that a good thing or a bad thing?  Well, I guess change, like anything, is what you make of it. 

I hope to continue to rise. Xx